one monkey will 

Posted in books, dreams on February 13, 2017 by loveinotherplaces

not sure i ever dreamed of a person. i dreamt of a spirit. i dreamt of the energy of us. of me waking from the dream, to tell him all about it. this is a God dream. 


‘She wanted to tell him that she loved him. But that would spoil everything, it might frighten him or, worse, might might make him say that he loved her too. Maria didn’t want that: the freedom of her love depended on asking nothing and expecting nothing.’ p. 163

‘”Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place. The greatest pleasure isn’t sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim.”‘ p. 164

‘”Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they’re not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or — such is the pleasure they experience–they may never finish it. No eleven minutes for them.”‘ p. 164

in a series of posts

Posted in books, love, paulo coelho, self-love, sex on February 10, 2017 by loveinotherplaces

did you know that paulo coelho was a political prisoner during the 1970’s in brasil where Image result for paulo coelho 11 minuteshe was interrogated and tortured for several years?  and when he was a teen his parents committed him to a mental institution 3 times. i believe that these experiences in particular and how coelho processed them gave him such a deep understanding of the human condition. it always amazes me Image result for paulo coelhowhen God will use the most painful, negative experiences to create beauty, triumph and transcendence – if we let him.  the harshest conditions refine us into the holiest, shiniest, happiest, graceful jewels – if we let it.  and then God will connect the suffering of one to the healing of another.  i have read many of this man’s books … the alchemist, the zahir, by the river piedra i sat and wept, veronika decides to die, warrior of the light, the witch of portobello … and i have learned to live from him. if he hadn’t been tortured would i be alive today?  i don’t know, i just came to share more love in quotes from 11 minutes.

‘if he was the man she wanted him to be, he would not be intimidated by her silence.’ p.111

‘”no, don’t [come see me tomorrow]. wait a week. i’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and i want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.”‘ p.132

‘… she was finding that she was capable of loving without demanding anything in return and of suffering for no reason.’ p.150

 

at least 45 minutes

Posted in books, Lips, love, paulo coehlo, sex, Uncategorized on February 8, 2017 by loveinotherplaces

as i re-read paulo coelho’s 11 minutes the words remind me why i love this book.  love – Eleven Minutes: A Novel (P.S.) by [Coelho, Paulo]like romantic love – has been on my mind a lot recently, as in the past year. which is new for me.  i spent over a decade just putting that kind of love in the corner.  God been tenderizing the meat of my heart. i started having baby fever 3 years ago.  but i ain’t pressed pressed.  i just know it’s in me and i don’t know why.   so i requested this book at the library 3 weeks ago.  something inside me called out for it.  it holds some of my secret dreams. it holds some of my understanding of love, sex, and desire. and myself.  in reading this again, i realize why God has placed these new urges on my heart. the answer is in the second quote. i’m back in love with imagining love. like when i was a child.  and a teenager.  and when i was 20.

‘suddenly, there was the opportunity she had been so eagerly awaiting, but which she had hoped would never come!’ p.27

‘i need to write about love. i need to think and think and write and write about love – otherwise, my soul won’t survive.’ p. 74

‘in love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.’ p.90

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lamentations 3

Posted in bible, God, hope, Hunger Games, Uncategorized on February 7, 2017 by loveinotherplaces

Image result for old king james biblemy elder sister church friend (who calls me her play daughter which makes me warm all over) sent me a word last week.  the whole chapter spoke to my heart, seduced me, and made love in me.  just wanted to share that love.  and to share some of the verses that particularly resonate with me:

 

24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.

27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

28 He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him.

– lamentations 3:24-28

 

 

left my wallet in kattegat

Posted in TV shows, vikings, violence, white culture, winter on February 6, 2017 by loveinotherplaces

it’s always a mourning period after the final episode of the last season is watched.  and my latest show that brought me joy on this earth was vikings.  you gotta be into that type Image result for ragnar lothbrokshit.  that show was bloody, vicious, inventively violent, and full of semi-accurate culture.  ragnar be tripping by the end .. and so do his sons … when that dude crawled out behind his brothers, i was DONE.  it’s kind of like an unsanitary, non-fantasy game of thrones but not really.  of course, i fast forwarded some of the boring dramatic aspects.  i’ve always liked vikings in general. can’t say why.  their savagery, their wildness, their feminism, their grit, their earthiness, their berserkerness, their urge to roam, to kill first and ask questions later … all appeals. i like seeing how europeans inter-bred and what kind of perpetually cold, shit storm they came from. so if that’s also you’re kind of thing, you may want to accept this love. i’m on the lookout for season 5.

not on my Jesus

Posted in belief, career, chaos, depression, faith, Uncategorized on February 3, 2017 by loveinotherplaces

one of my greatest hopes for this blog is that it saves days and lives.  if i can help a person on the brink of giving up then my posts have served their purpose.  i have wanted to give up so many times in my life and i can only share what keeps me going.

especially if you struggle with depression, sometimes all we can see is what we lack.  what we do not have.  what went wrong.  where we are empty.

if you are on a spiritual path, the spirit must be fed or it will crash.  i said all this to say that there have been many seasons in my life when all i can listen to is gospel music.  i run it out.  i play it in my car everywhere i go.  i play it at work ALL DAY.  and this is even after i have prayed and meditated both day and night.  i encourage those who are in a struggle to find whatever feeds your spirit.

i am personally in another gospel season.  it keeps me. focused on what i really want.  focused on God’s highest truth and his light.  it keeps me alive.  it keeps me breathing.  it keeps me putting one foot in front the other. as i was listening to this particular song (pasted below) this morning, i started drafting this post in my head.  don’t give up on my Jesus.

i know it’s hard.  i know you’ve been waiting.  i know you can’t see the blessings all around or those that are coming.  i know life is hard.  i know you don’t want to get out of bed.  i know you are tired. i know that the flesh is calling you .. to drink, to smoke, to sex, to lash out … i know this because i feel all these things myself.

i’m at the point where i’m so tired. so, so tired. my spirit so fatigued. so exhausted that i am resting in God’s word and his promise. and i am standing in expectation.  i don’t have the energy to count all the dollars and cents.  i can’t think my way through all of my own problems. and i have done everything i can. at this point, all i can do is play this gospel along the way.

what’s your gospel? what locks on to your insides and lifts you up like a harness?  what connects you to the ultimate truth?  the truth that you are beautiful. that you are loved, that you are love.  you are the other places you’ve been crying out for.

my Jesus still works even when you can’t no more.  rest in him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

insecured to the roof of my car

Posted in HBO, Insecure, Issa Rae, TV shows on January 31, 2017 by loveinotherplaces

insecure. have we talked about this yet?

there were too many parallels with my real life for me not to create a conspiracy theory Image result for insecurethat someone i know contributed to that show.  lmao.  but for real.  and the world of black people who went to college is way too small for me not to be paranoid.  georgetown.  non profit.  youth development.  a best friend looking for a fairytale. a producer nigga.  been to all of those places and seen all that with my own two.

not that it matters … just interesting.

issa rae is phenomenal.  she has what we call in the performing arts: presence.  she vibrates through the screen.  she’s dope. she got a light inside her eyeballs and a knack for humor.

i did fast forward some parts cuz i’m retarded.  i might have ADD sometimes.  and usually, if i lived it or if it’s too melodramatic, i don’t want it.  i mostly fast forwarded the parts about her non-profit struggles with white people.  it’s like, if i live this in real life, why do Image result for issa raei want to re-live it again during my free time?  i refuse.

but some of this show had me laughing out loud.  she reminds me of that time in my life when i had just broke up with my BD and i had a baby in my back seat and a mattress strapped to the roof of my car. early twenties and dumb as hell. low self esteem and totally insecure .. thinking i was grown as fuck (that’s for issa).

her raps are cute. her delivery of her raps are cuter.  her little fumbles are cute.  her men are cute.  her friends are cute.  the music is pretty cool at times.  she engaged me.  and that’s not easy. there’s plenty love when turning insecurities into art and profit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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